I believe that God knows our every move and that things in our lives happen for reasons that only He knows. I understand that not every person feels this way because I didn’t feel this way my entire life. When I was younger and my brothers did what they did to me, refer to the following link if this is your first time: Brief Sexual Abuse Story, I couldn’t believe that God would let something like that happen to a young and innocent child and by my own brothers for that matter! When you are taken advantage of by your own family it makes you think that people that don’t know you could really care less about you.
What happened to me as a child makes me wonder about the following things:
- Why was I or any other person for that matter sexually, mentally, and/or emotionally abused?
- I wonder what goes through an abusers mind before, during, and after they abuse someone
- Do they think about the consequences for themselves or the victim or do they even care?
- Why do some victims turn into offenders? Wouldn’t they want the cycle to stop? Why would they want anyone to have to go through what they had to go through?
- If a person has never been abused, why do they choose to start abusing?
Unfortunately, I do not know the answers to these questions. I still do not know why I had to be abused. But, I am beginning to identify why I have turned out the way I have and made some of the stupid decisions that I have made in my life.