Family Relationships After Sexual Abuse Occurs

           I have recently been discussing with others to try and determine what type of relationship I should have with my family- currently my parents’. I have cut off my abusers which, are my brothers, and am having no contact with them whatsoever.

           Since my parents’ were not the ones to abuse me I feel like it is extremely difficult for me to ‘punish’ them by cutting them completely off. However, I know in my head that for me to heal I need to cut them off to prevent myself from continuing to be ‘brainwashed’ by their thoughts and ideas every time I hear from them. I just am not really sure how to go about it all…. 

        I feel as if my parents’ knew that ‘incest’ type behavior was going on throughout the church of my upbringing but never said anything.  If you knew something like that was going on wouldn’t you want to remove yourself and your family from the situation?!? To this day, my immediate and extended family members attend the General Assembly and Church of the Firstborn. I just think that it is sad that so many adults knew about such an epidemic and never felt the need to put a stop to it. 

            I also do not seem to understand how an entire church body can just think that it is okay to not punish someone who has committed such heinous crimes.  And, the thing is is that no one discusses anything. Everyone tries to sweep stuff under the rug and keep it hush, hush just like my own family did when I finally got the nerve to finally tell them. I  still can’t believe that people that I thought loved me actually, don’t even care about me, didn’t try to protect me, and didn’t and still don’t want to help me heal. As an adult, I began to see the sickness for myself that is involved in that church and removed myself. 

I want to be able to help those who have been through similar events once I am healed from this trauma. I would also like to be able to somehow prevent these events from happening as well. This would be very difficult but well worth the work for sure. 


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