You have heard of fight or flight responses to stress. Until my appointment with my counselor I was unaware that there is a third stress response, known as freeze and perfectly explains my response in stressful situations. I like the above picture because it is so precise in many situations how I react. I don’t say anything and I just want the person to leave.
FIGHT: I generally am a listener. I like it to be quiet so that I can think. I am not thinking of things to say if some type of stressful situation occurs. It is hard for me to say anything because I was brought up that other peoples feelings matter before your own. Because of this, I am extremely cautious of saying things because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. How do you wipe away all the things your were taught as a child and start anew?
FLIGHT: I have had a couple of incidents where I noted that my flight response is lacking. It is hard for me to yet again be rude and just walk away. I have to keep telling myself over and over that my feelings matter and that my gut feeling is right and that I just need to take heed of it.
FREEZE: This is me. Listen to what people talk about or don’t talk about. Sit there and take it whether you want to or not. Because my other stress responses aren’t kicking in.
I need to do some research on why only the freeze response seems to be kicking in. I definitely need to do what I can to change this because there are so many times that I want to say what I am thinking but I don’t because I am fearing something so I just don’t say anything. It makes me really mad because I see people who make it seem so easy to just say what they think.