I had a missed call from my mom on my phone today. When I got home from work I decided to call her back to see what she called about; thinking it had something to do with their visit to come see us. Well, that was a dumb mistake on my part…
When I first get on the phone with her I tell her hello and ask how she is doing and then I ask her what she had called about earlier. Her response was that, “It was a mistake, I was meaning to call someone else.” Oh…. Ouch…. Obviously, it was too hard to actually pretend like she actually cared about me; couldn’t even make up an excuse that she was just calling to check on me to see how I was doing or something….
She then informed me that they wouldn’t be coming up this weekend because they had plans, which is perfectly fine. Then I asked if they could just mail me a check to pay for my counseling. WHAT A JOKE!! My parents tell me that they will do anything to help me out with this situation the other day on the phone after I wrote my letter to them. When I asked my mom a few days later if they could pay for my counseling for the next 4 months she said that it would be no problem. Well, when I talked to her this time, there was a different tone… My mom asked me if she could have the name and address of my counselor so that she could send the check directly to my counselor, which would’ve been fine with me had my counselor told me that she couldn’t take a check from an outside party due to breach of confidentiality or something like that.
That’s when it started…. I seriously think that my mom thought that I was lying… She said, “that just doesn’t sound right.” Then I go on to say that she could write me a check and I could cash it and just pay for my counseling, easy enough, right?…. Well, then she throws into the conversation that she needs a receipt… My thoughts are: ‘To prove what?!? That I actually am going to counseling? That I didn’t use the money for something else?’ No, because they are going to write it off on their taxes…. DOUBLE OUCH…. They can’t even help me out without benefiting from it.
At this point, I don’t even want their money. In fact, I really don’t want anything to do with them. I thought they were willing to do whatever it took to help me… Well, now I can see that when it comes to money they’re not that willing to help out… But, they can give my middle brother a piece of their land and buy him a trailer house but I want them to pay a measly $400 for counseling because of what my brothers did to me and I get hassled? I am so tired of their double standards…. Everyone gets something except for me. That just shows me that they don’t care about me. I was the victim and their sons were the perpetrators…. I still just don’t think they get that fact. They can say whatever they want. It means nothing to me now.
The worst part is, is that my whole night was basically ruined because I couldn’t stop thinking about my conversation with my mom… I cannot continue to be hurt like this every time I talk to them. They have caused me enough hurt for 2 lifetimes and that is quite enough….