Just Couldn’t Take the Re-victimization Anymore


Ever since my mom told me that I told her about my oldest brother touching me inappropriately I loathe the fact that there was simply nothing done to protect me. And, everything she said I simply couldn’t believe, after what she hid from me for 15+ years.  

My mom called me, I didn’t answer because I get stressed out wondering about what she could possibly want now… Or if she is simply calling ‘on accident’. She called again which made me stress even more… This time she left a voicemail though. She said that she ran out of checks and had to order more and thats why I didn’t get a check in the mail to pay for the remainder of my counseling. And that she would bring it to me today.

This made me mad because that means that she had to go to the bank and could’ve either gotten cash or got a cashier’s check OR she could’ve used dad’s checkbook. But, she didn’t…. I honestly didn’t want to  see her; I am so upset that I actually stood up for myself yet, I didn’t even know it. I cannot believe anything she says because for so long she has been essentially lying to me. 

I told my husband that I wanted to change my phone number so that none of my ‘family’ could not contact me anymore. I am tired of getting stressed out about what they have to say or…. complete lack thereof… I sent a final text message stating what was on my mind. I know that my parents’ are not the people that sexually abused my but they did neglect me by not taking care of me or protect me from my own brothers’ sickness. 


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