Conditional Love Hurts….

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During counseling I realized that everything my parents’ ever gave or were going to give me had a condition attached. Either they wanted me to come down to their house or they wanted my daughter to stay the night with them. I just put it together, right there in counseling that they never simply gave me anything like other parents gave to their children. I had to work for everything I ever got from them. Not saying that working for what you get is wrong but when that’s the only way you get anything from your parents, that is wrong. 

There was always a plan set out for me that I didn’t want. My opinions never mattered. I wanted to do gymnastics when I was little but their excuse was that we couldn’t go into town everyday…. They never even tried to provide me with what I wanted. I was going to show cows.

It’s one thing to have your kids do something like that and give them the money that they earn to help out with their college but I never saw a penny of the money that I earned by putting in God knows how many hours for at least 5 years of my life with my show calves. I remember going to the bank and setting up my savings account with my mom when I was about 9 years old. I couldn’t tell you how many thousands of dollars I had won and whenever I was old enough to realize and check my savings account there was a whopping minimum amount that I couldn’t even withdraw of $20.00.

It really makes me mad that I could’ve been in a little less debt with my student loans had my parents not royally screwed me over. I remember asking my dad where my money was for showing my cows and he said that he was the one who paid for the cows and cow food in the first place. So I’m not really sure why I wasted my time with showing the cows…..Oh, I guess it was to fatten up a cow for us to eat and to earn my parents some extra money. I did learn some responsibility in the process because of taking care of something other than myself but, other than that…. nothing.

My own parents couldn’t take care of me yet they thought that I needed to learn to take care of something other than myself… How stupid is that?? Well… That’s my ‘family’ for ya…. Hypocrites at every turn.

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