Today, my parents called my husband’s phone…. When my husband told me that he had a couple of missed calls from them I immediately have a list of thoughts go through my head.
- Maybe they understand now, doubtful
- Maybe they want to help, doubtful
- Maybe they do really care, doubtful
- Maybe they do really love me
Of course, simply hearing their voices upsets me. It’s this overwhelming mixture of anger and sadness. I feel the tears forming in my eyes, although nothing comes out… And, there is this huge lump in my throat.
I didn’t talk with them but I think that the only reason they called was to talk with my daughter, their grandchild. Which, simply disgusts me. I would rather she not have anything to do with them. I simply feel like if they can hurt their own daughter so badly that they could probably do the same to anyone. I have no hard feelings about cutting off my family. I feel so much better on a day to day basis knowing that they can’t contact me. I don’t get stressed out wondering when they are going to call and what they are going to say that is going to make me feel bad about myself or the decisions I have made in my life.
As my dad is talking with my daughter I overhear him say that he just got a new tractor…. SERIOUSLY?!? Wonder how much that cost him? But, my parents couldn’t send a measly $400.00 for a few months of counseling. That makes me want my daughter to be around them even less than before, I don’t know how much less I could want them to just stay away.
I feel like it does really make my mom sad that we are not letting her have much to do with our daughter. I could tell when listening that she had been crying or was crying. But, I don’t even care about that. I just wish they would leave me and my little family alone!!