Let me start off by saying I am so furious!!
The past few weeks, I have been reading in the news about Judge Kavanaugh and Christine Blasey Ford. At first I had no clue what was going on but it’s EVERYWHERE so it’s hard not to pay attention!! There was a Saturday Night Live skit recently done about this. I’m typically not the type of person to read comments but this subject interests me since I too was a victim. So, I was reading on Instagram about what people think about this skit. This one comment really irked me!! Terryn25 said “…For instant what woman would say “Hi” to their suppose attacker in the store?”
Are you kidding me!? I feel like some people have opinions who have absolutely no clue about sexual abuse!! I feel like there is a time and a place for people to talk but some people just need to keep their mouths shut!! Especially when this person clearly has no idea about what it’s like to be a victim!!
Just from personal experience, I didn’t have a choice if I wanted to sit at the table for breakfast, lunch, & dinner with my “attackers”. They were my brothers! I found out after the fact that I did tell my mom about what was happening, and guess what? That didn’t change ANYTHING!! I still had to live in the same house with them and ride to school in the same vehicle with them. Do you think I had a choice about those things?! No, it was like nothing happened to me. My own mother pretended like nothing happened to me as a child so that made me think the same thing; that what was happening to me was not wrong in any way. Because what I thought was a threat was treated as if it wasn’t and therefore, I simply assumed that that’s just the way things are. How was I to know that every little sister didn’t get touched in inappropriate places by their older brothers? I mean obviously I didn’t think this was “normal” because I told and adult. But, because of the outcome (nothing happening) I was sent a non-verbal understood message that this was the way it was.
Because nothing changed what was I expected to do?!? I was underage and I told the people that should have done SOMETHING. But because of that I shouldn’t have spoken to my brothers? That would be impossible. Sometimes if you realize things aren’t going to change you still have to keep living. My entire family made it seem as if this was no big deal and therefore I was taught that what was happening to me didn’t matter to them.
What is a continual media feed currently always makes me think back to what my dad said, “It [sexual abuse] happens everywhere.” Sadly, my dad was definitely right about that… But while it may happen everywhere does not in any way make it right!! But because my family did nothing, it still to this day makes me believe that they think that sexual abuse is ok. This is why I can’t have contact with them because it hurts me knowing that they essentially don’t care about my well-being. They didn’t when I was a child and they didn’t change anything so why would I believe they cared now? They would love it if my family pretended like nothing happened and went back to having Christmases with the ones who forever changed my life (and I don’t mean in a positive way). But that’s where I get to change the path. I won’t put my daughter in a situation that I was put it. And if people think that sexual abuse is ok, it’s not. That is something that stays with someone for LIFE!!! It never goes away.
I always expect the worst from people, and this is a prime example of why but I feel like this is a new low. It’s like a personal attack, even though it has nothing to do with me. I realize that people have an opinion about everything in life, but sometimes I feel like people are just ignorant. And, if you are going to talk trash about victims then maybe you should get your English right first!!